...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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