Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
