carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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