Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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