everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
