I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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