brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
