walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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