Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
