But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
