Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
