you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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