I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
ok i will unlock the door
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
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i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
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My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though