I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
