I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You are a genius and a whore.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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