i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Houston, we have a squirter
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you