You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
