You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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