i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
