Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
