Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You ruined the universe
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
