I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
