so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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