Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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