As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
