careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
