I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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