im having a threesome with these popsicles
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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