god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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