Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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