Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
