You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
