i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
