she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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