i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
