I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
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