My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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