so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
