OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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