that's an acceptable place to lick
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
