I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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