nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Randomize
