Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
how can u be prego again
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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