That's intense
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
This is the high leading the old right now
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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