Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
