it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
