And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize