dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I understand Curling. That high.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
