No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
