you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
