Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
