I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
you never un-have a 4some
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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