At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
