I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
