he looks like a really good dad on facebook
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He shit in the fireplace
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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