Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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