yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I need to calm my uterus...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
