Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
