Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
