They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
