I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
