At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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