it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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