well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
