And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
