Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Found your dick twin last night
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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