I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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