idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
