Sry I called you an 8
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
