Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
