Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
