Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?