She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Sex while Star Warsing is the best